Tuesday, June 02, 2009

/ freak out

I tried to take a nap but failed because my mind was a-racin'. I vented to Pat about freaking out, then cried a little bit, then felt better. As long as lists are made and things keep getting checked off, I suppose we'll be chugging along...and hopefully its all done by Tuesday.

side note: I just fixed my ef key which was stuck and annoying the shit out of me - cat hair and crumbs were the culprits. Ew! /side note

Now to completely change the subject....I'm rather enjoying my life despite all the chaos right now. I think the majority of that is due to my partner in crime - Pat. We had kind of a deep conversation on the drive home from Michigan...or rather, I had a deep conversation and he nodded and said "Uh huh" a lot :) He admits he doesn't contemplate the hows and whys of life, but chooses to enjoy and be content with things as they are in the moment...which is probably why I love him so much since I tend to spend a lot of my time worrying about future events or disecting and analyzing past events. He really complements me well.

The jist of our semi-deep conversation was Fate & Destiny vs. Chance and the effect on the birth of our relationship. Basically, I feel like we were destined to be together...but Pat doesn't really believe in destiny. He questioned why, if it was fate, did we have to go through our respective divorces instead of just meeting and dating while students at U of M. I explained that I thought it was all part of the "Big Plan" - we had to go through what we went through in order to appreciate and treasure what we have currently. It was just awful enough to make us hurt, but not so much as to ruin us.

But there are other reasons, too. We're just so good together. He resists me just enough so I know I can't boss him around (even though I try to anyway). He's the very Zen to my high strung-ness, he's logic to my passion, the reserve to my extravertivity (hey, if physicality is a word, so is extravertivity). The ying to my yang, if you will. Balance.

But we're not opposites in all aspects. He's grounded in God, family, religion and just the general belief of being a good person. We have plenty of varied interests, but enough overlap to enjoy together. Similarly with style and tastes. He dislikes onions. He's oh so affectionate and snuggly, warm, and smells good. *sigh* And just plain dreamy. Our physical chemistry is off the charts (desitny?? Hmmm....)...even with the changes brought upon by kids and the comfort of daily life.

He is my Rock.

So in the midst of this storm, the chaos of moving and temporary living, the crazy ups and downs of pregnancy hormones, the coming and going of patience with Liam...I know I'll get through it all as long as he's next to me. I love you, Pat...thanks for being mine :)

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