She's a daddy's girl!

There was a time when Pat was so worried....because truth be told, Lola didn't like him very much. She was pretty attached to me, and no one else.

There's no doubt about it now :) She looooves her Daddy!

We've gotten tons of comments from various people saying how much she looks like Pat. So Liam looks like Pat, Lola looks like Pat...but Liam and Lola don't really look like each other. Apparently I was just the cooking vessel.

I'm starting to see the resemblance between Lola and Pat more and more lately. Especially her smile. She does this little smirk that always reminds me of this photograph Pat's mom sent me to fix for her a few years ago. I finally got around to searching for it so I could do a comparison. Yup. Sure enough.....same sweet little smirk, and a carbon copy little nose :) She even has a sweet little dimple on the same side (although you can't see it here - I flipped the photo to compare from similar vantage points...so Lola is actually a mirror of her actual self!).

I think Pat was closer to 18 months in this photo (Lola was 6 months), but you can definitely see a resmblance!

Lazy dayz

Or should I say less than lazy? We've been a pretty busy family as of late, but then again, who isn't? I'm just trying to place the blame of being a lazy blogger somewhere other than on my shoulders ;) I think that I'm doing a rather good job of not parking my ass in front of the computer 100% though, so I suppose if a side effect of having a life not online is less frequent blogging, than so be it!

There is SO very much to say though! I realized so much is happening with Lola - so many new, cool, developing baby things - and I'm not documenting any of them because I'm not blogging! Because of this, I'll be *attempting* to do at least a weekly update of cool, new, Lola things :) This week, her newly learned skill is lifting her chubtastic little legs up in the air! Its so adorable (as are most things she does) - she lifts them up and puts her hands on her thighs because her legs can go any higher because of her chubby belly.....it makes me laugh every time! In addition to her leg awareness and strength, she's also mastering the art of sucking (or chewing, rather) on her thumb. Lola is pretty much a pro at sticking it in her mouth.....and she doesn't gag every time she does it anymore. She's also very aware of her hands, and as of today can grab a toy and hang on to it for a while. Her favorite (or Mommy's favorite) is a squishy, crinkly little starfish.

Lola has been doing well taking a bottle now, thanks largely in part to a different nipple design introduced by the Koesterim (thanks Keren!). She had been (and when I say she, I really mean Pat) struggling with a bottle for a while, and even though we tried the various designs / flow rates available from when Liam was a baby, we hadn't ventured to try other designs. And when I say we hadn't ventured, I mean we were too cheap to buy different ones that we didn't know would work. Keren gave us one of Ella's to try, and lo and behold, Lola took right to it! That has made Pat's life tremendously better.

Despite efforts made in the bottle feeding department (which Pat does when I'm off working at The Container Store), Lola still isn't the hugest fan of her daddy, which is terribly heartbreaking! She just 100% prefers to hang out with Mommy! (Not that I blame her, because I am supremely awesome!) It just makes me feel bad when she screams her head off when Pat holds her, and then I take her and she immediately stops crying. Most friends have assured me they've gone through similar phases, and its most likely due to the association with breastfeeding....she'll be daddy's little girl soon enough.

Speaking of breastfeeding - still going smashingly. Leaps and bounds and leaps and bounds easier than go 'round numero uno. I'm approaching the 4 month mark in a few days, which was as far as I got with Liam before we weaned him, and I'm looking forward to surpassing it. I have no expecations at this point - I only wanted to make it past 4 months, so any time here forward is a bonus. Not sure if I'll go the whole one year......lets put it this way. As long as its easy, I'll do it! And right now, its easy as pie ;)

And now, a Liam update. He's an incredible kid, and really does continue to amaze me. Most recently, he's amazing us with how far he pushes back to exert his independence and see just how far he can push limits. Amazing. And incredibly, incredibly frustrating. We're trying to be patient and good parents, but sometimes it is just so unbelievably hard. Right now, I'm just focusing on not yelling. Sometimes I feel like he won't listen at all - we ask him three times to do something, and it isn't until we yell that we get a reaction. Our librarian / friend suggested to try whispering. By golly, it seems to be working.....we'll see how long that lasts, though.

Aside from the pain in the assy-ness, his imagination is so cool to watch develop....playtime is definitely fun for the both of us! His favorite toys at the moment are Stickers and Mr. The King (Lightening McQueen and The King from Cars) and four monster trucks (Gravedigger, Captian's Curse, Hot Wheels, and Blue Thunder) that he likes to play with all together. They do a lot of climbing and jumping over things, just like they do in real life Monster Jam. Pretty hilarious. Espeically when they're doing stunts and I hear a very robust "AAAAAAHHHhhHHHHhh!" as they fly through the air :)

Oh! And a new favorite food for Liam: Edamame. He loves the stuff! And it is uber cool to watch him take them out of the pod himself. His cute little chubby fingers hard at work. So adorable!

And Liam is so, so, so very sweet with Lola. Really. It makes my heart melt and turn all sorts of fuzzy wuzzy mushy every time he interacts with her! Of course, there's times when I see a hint of jealousy when we're giving Lola attention, but as long as we take a second to include him in whatever we're doing, he's usually pretty happy to oblige, and I couldn't ask for anything more! The funniest thing is when he gets really close to her face, and puts on his BIGGEST smile possible trying to get her to give him "some Lola Smiles", and when she reacts to him, he just CRACKS up ;) So sweet. Seriously!

That about sums it up for the time being. I've got to get back to baking brownies - its a test run for next week's show down for Heidi's baby shower :) I hope they turn out!

Busy busy bee!

The good news is, I'm feeling fantastic! No PPD to speak of, as of yet anyway, getting lots of sleep due to a fantastically sleeping baby, and being HELLA productive with my time. I'm exercising more....not necessarily eating less, but we'll get there ;) I feel like I'm being a better Mom to Liam than I was the first few weeks, and in general I'm just starting to get the hang of this Mom to Two thing :) Hooray!

Lola is growing like mad! She's got her 8 week appointment on Friday, so we'll update again after that :) Wii Fit says she weighed 13.5 pounds about a week ago, so we'll see how accurate the game system is. She's definitely much more alert, checking things out, smiling, ahh-ing, goo-ing, and ah-goo-ing. She's gorgeous!

Liam is a great big brother - he is still always talking to her and about her, and often gives a narration of what's going on with her. He really likes to lay next to her in bed when we're saying our prayers and reading books, and he gets mad if he doesn't get to give her a kiss on her head. Its so sweet, really. And much better than I could have ever expected!

The bad news is, I've been SO productive and back into the swing of things that its a little bit ridiculous. I've had a gazillion photography shoots, interviewed four times (and got the job!) at The Container Store and in general readying the house for the Holidays. Its been busy, and at times I've been slightly overwhelmed, but Pat has been so incredibly supportive that its all worked itself out quite well. AND we've got money for Christmas, which is also very good ;)

I start my seasonal employment with The Container Store on December 13, and I am PUMPED! I love every one of the 10,000 products that they carry, and I cannot wait to learn more about living the Organized life! This also allows me to earn a little extra cash as I transition to ramping up the photography business, and also get me out of the house for a few hours of kid free productivity. And, lets face it people - being in Forbes top 100 companies to work for 10 years running, combined with being surrounded by organizational goodness - what's not to love!

So its been a little chaotic and not much time to sit back, relax and update the ol' blog-o, but I'm ok with that! We'll just keep riding this wave!!!

Feeling blessed!

Its nice to be able to take a step back and really appreciate my life! Does that mean it is perfect? HEEEEELLLLLL NAW! But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate what I do have right at the moment. Today, it was a really, really nice day. Nothing in particular happened - In fact, it was rather ordinary. But a series of seemingly small things occured that really just made me feel blessed.

:::::::::::::::::: Little & Big Blessings ::::::::::::::::::

• Liam slept in until 6:50AM! I acutally woke up myself at 6:44 slightly concerned. I was going to give him another 10 minutes, and if he didn't stir I was going to check in on him. Thankfully, I didn't need to :)
• Liam and I had a nice, uneventful trip to the grocery store. We scored a cart with a car on the front (SWEEEET!) so Liam was happy playing while I took my time perusing through all the isle. And, a very nice cart boy helped me put the bags in the trunk. It was just, well, nice!
• Minimal fighting at most all diaper changes!
• Minimal resistance at ALL mealtimes
  
• Pat cooked an amazing dinner - homemade spaghetti & meatballs, even the sauce from scratch!
• We all ate the same meal, together, at dinner time! That was awesome!! Its been a string of separate meals for all of us lately, because we're too tired to cook something good, Liam typically wants to eat before we do (we're trying to change that though)....or even if we want to cook something good for us the refrigerator isn't stocked.
  
• Kitchen clean up was minimal, and dare I say, Easy!
  
• Only one time out for Liam today :)
• I was able to read a couple of chapters of my book.
• I took a two hour nap (when Liam did :) )
  
• Liam and I stole a little walk outside before dinner and the storms began.
• Bath time was nice and quiet.
• Bed time was great (even though we read "Blankie" for the seventy-hundreth time today)
  
• Pat & I snuggled on the couch and watched a DVD :) As much as I could snuggle anyway...I can only stay in one position for so long....

So that's really it. Just a really, really nice day. And, should I mention that my husband is looking particularly hunky today :) He's so handsome....just shaved his beard off yesterday and I had forgotten how delicious his skin is....don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the manly lumberjack beard. LOVE it. Loved it even more that he did it after I asked him to grow it. But change is nice sometimes.

So now, I sit. I'm uncomfortable. I'm giant. I ate too much. I'm kind of crabby...but still somehow feeling so very blessed.....and wouldn't change anything for the world :)

August Desktop :)

I'm excited to start using my monthly desktops again :) This time its another beautiful one from Shabby Princess using a kit called Giggle Box. You can find it ready to drop your photos in on the Shabby Princess Blog!

Learning how to fly

Liam and I were walking around the neighborhood this evening when we saw the coolest thing :) A new bird taking it's first flight. Well, I'm not sure if it was it's first flight EVER, but that's what I'm calling it in my head. We stopped for a good two minutes (which in Liam minutes is about an hour) and just watched him in the tree, flitting about, looking so very relieved that it landed safely in a tree. You could still see a bit of baby bird fluff on its head and neck, and even a bit of uncertainty in its eyes, not sure exactly what is coming next, but excited... I couldn't believe that Liam was so interested - like he knew it was something cool and special.

OK, maybe I'm reading a bit too much into it all, but it certainly was neat-o.

And fitting - especially since I'm embarking on a new adventure as of this evening. Pat went on a business trip, and Liam and I are flying solo for a couple of days - first time in the new house! Not a big deal to most people, but kind of a big deal to me. I'm a wuss. I don't do well in new places. I don't like being alone. Typically when Pat leaves I stay up way way LATE (like 2AM) until I can't possibly keep my eyes open anymore, and only then can I sleep. That's OK for one night. Not for multiple nights. Definitely not OK for a 5:30-6AM toddler wake up call that Daddy takes care of 90% of the time. Yeah, I really don't like doing all the work myself. Especially when I'm knocked up, vulnerable and whiney.

I thought I might go camping while Pat was gone, but that didn't work out because my body does not cooperate with the un-cushy-ness of camp chairs, not to mention the 6 hour drive. Then I thought I might enlist my cousin and kiddo to come stay with us...but then I realized that request is a little ridiculous. Its like asking someone to babysit yourself (thanks A, for not saying so at the time). Alas, I am an adult, it is my home and I think I've been here long enough where I can handle it on my own.

I think.

*le sigh*

The hardest part of this process is admiting my co-dependancy. Aformentioned cousin A says its OK to rely on each other when you're in a marriage. I suppose she's right. It just takes some getting used to admiting it all...

New House visit :)

I spent some time this morning visiting our soon to be new house. Had to meet up with a couple of contractors to arrange work to be done after we close on the 17th. Also did a few measurements in the kitchen because I think we're going to put a few cabinets in. It was really exciting pulling up and seeing the "Sold!" sign out front :)

I was also surprised with how comfortable I was in the house by myself. In general, and especially in new places, I'm a bit skittish and weary when I'm alone....Jumping at all sorts of noises and such. But not today. It felt very good and natural, which is a good sign I think.

Its been a rough day - Friday I was out of commission most of the day due to a strange stomach issue. It must have been something I ate at The Melting Pot on Thursday night - it just did not sit well at all. I hurled a couple times last night, and spent most of the night awake on the couch trying not to yak. FYI - dry heaving while pregnant is not fun - I have no ab muscle at all and I am SORE as all heck today...all around my core. I'm starting to feel better though - thanks to Pat taking good care of me with Gatorade, pretzels and toast & jam. He's been awesome, especially considering that he's done about 90% of the packing while I've been chained to the bed. I did improve enough to finish packing Liam's room tonight though.

We've got the bathroom to pack, a wee little bit of bedrooms and the rest of the kitchen to finish out tomorrow, and then we'll be pretty much all boxed up. I think the kitchen we might wait til' Monday to finish up...its pretty tough to live without eating.

That's all for tonight - have a good evening and GO WINGS!!!!

/ freak out

I tried to take a nap but failed because my mind was a-racin'. I vented to Pat about freaking out, then cried a little bit, then felt better. As long as lists are made and things keep getting checked off, I suppose we'll be chugging along...and hopefully its all done by Tuesday.

side note: I just fixed my ef key which was stuck and annoying the shit out of me - cat hair and crumbs were the culprits. Ew! /side note

Now to completely change the subject....I'm rather enjoying my life despite all the chaos right now. I think the majority of that is due to my partner in crime - Pat. We had kind of a deep conversation on the drive home from Michigan...or rather, I had a deep conversation and he nodded and said "Uh huh" a lot :) He admits he doesn't contemplate the hows and whys of life, but chooses to enjoy and be content with things as they are in the moment...which is probably why I love him so much since I tend to spend a lot of my time worrying about future events or disecting and analyzing past events. He really complements me well.

The jist of our semi-deep conversation was Fate & Destiny vs. Chance and the effect on the birth of our relationship. Basically, I feel like we were destined to be together...but Pat doesn't really believe in destiny. He questioned why, if it was fate, did we have to go through our respective divorces instead of just meeting and dating while students at U of M. I explained that I thought it was all part of the "Big Plan" - we had to go through what we went through in order to appreciate and treasure what we have currently. It was just awful enough to make us hurt, but not so much as to ruin us.

But there are other reasons, too. We're just so good together. He resists me just enough so I know I can't boss him around (even though I try to anyway). He's the very Zen to my high strung-ness, he's logic to my passion, the reserve to my extravertivity (hey, if physicality is a word, so is extravertivity). The ying to my yang, if you will. Balance.

But we're not opposites in all aspects. He's grounded in God, family, religion and just the general belief of being a good person. We have plenty of varied interests, but enough overlap to enjoy together. Similarly with style and tastes. He dislikes onions. He's oh so affectionate and snuggly, warm, and smells good. *sigh* And just plain dreamy. Our physical chemistry is off the charts (desitny?? Hmmm....)...even with the changes brought upon by kids and the comfort of daily life.

He is my Rock.

So in the midst of this storm, the chaos of moving and temporary living, the crazy ups and downs of pregnancy hormones, the coming and going of patience with Liam...I know I'll get through it all as long as he's next to me. I love you, Pat...thanks for being mine :)

So. very. tired.

But I must stay awake. I've got more photos to edit :) Right now though, my back is killing me. I can't decide what its from though. It could be:

a. Yoga
b. Blow drying the window insulator thingy
c. Crafting on the floor because I don't have a table
d. Spending to much time sitting at the cafe table on the computer without a proper chair
e. I'm getting old

Take any combination of the above and you've got an achy back.

What I wanted to report today, quickly, is that it was Liam's first time playing in the snow. He's seen it before, touched it even - but it was his first time getting all geared up in snowpants, boots and everything. Oh, I didn't mention that he's actually sick right now. Yes, he's sick and I took him outside. Hey man, all the sites I looked at online say to spend some time in the chilly cold air to reduce swelling and irritation in his throat and lungs. So that's what I did. He didn't cough really the rest of the evening, either.

I don't know what was more fun, watching Liam play or watching Pat play with him. I've said it time and time again - he's such an amazing father. Its so intuitive to him! I very much enjoy watching the two of them together. OK, enough mushy mushy talk. Here's some pics :)

Birthday Madness!

I had a beautiful birthday! Beginning with the sounds of a happy baby waking up, and ending with some nice warm snuggles with my Honeybuns. Pat and I went out on a nice romantic dinner to Fogo de Chao (sans Liam! Thanks Casey!) and then picked up THE most scrumptious cupcakes from Molly's Cupcakes in Lincoln Park. Seriously - they were delicious! I couldn't decide what kind of cake I wanted, so Pat ordered 6 different kinds just for me :) Does the man know me or WHAT! We had carrot cake, red velvet, vanilla, chocolate, turtle and boston creme pie. Zowie - they were all amazing, but I think my favorite was the boston creme one....soooo mouth wateringly moist and tasty. YUM-O!

I'm never patient enough to wait for my presents, so I already opened them all :) LOL. I got my sparkley beautiful Swarovski Crystal Snowflake for 2008, and a SUPER cool stainless steel trashcan that opens ALL BY ITSELF!! I know, I'm lame. I'm excited about a trashcan. BUT IT IS AWESOME!!! And a pair of beautiful cards, from Pat and Liam....one had a sticker included that displayed proudly my #1 Mom status. I LOVE cheesey crap like that. Hmmm....I feel like I got another present, but I can't quite recall what it was....

We didn't really do much else, I guess.....but that's how I like it. Low Key and Intimate :)

Good Husband. Bad Wife.

I was amazed to wake up this morning and see the clock showing 9:00AM!!!!!!! WOW - I haven't slept in that long in ages. My wonderful, amazing, sexy, fantastic hubby let me sleep in - no strings attached :) He's great, I tell ya!

And, to top it all off, I've been fighting this sickness / allergies for the past week or so and have been quite stuffy. And, apparently I was snoring up a storm last night. So much so that I forced Pat out of bed and onto the couch.

So he slept on the couch and was still nice to me in the morning. AND had my coffee ready and waiting at the perfect temperature with cream and sugar. Did I hit the jackpot or what?!?

FINALLY wired back up

After about a billion hours....our wireless internet is finally back up. THank the SWEET lord! I was about to go bonkers.

And, just as I was looking forward to spending a nice evening out with my mom-friends.....Liam started yakking and ralphing all over God's Green earth. *sigh* poor little man! We had to stop and buy a $25 T shirt for him (and Pat too, after Liam puked all over him) because I didn't have a spare outfit in the diaper bag. I *literally* just took it out of the bag this morning....and got distracted so I never replaced it. Isn't that always the case??

Well, for now, Liam has stopped erupting, so hopefully he'll make it through the night. Keep your fingers crossed!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY HONEYBUNS!!!!!

myspace layout

Happy 32nd Birthday to my amazing husband!!!!



This birthday cake making experience was a bit better than last year - but I didn't get a chance to exude my mad cake decorating skilz because all of my tools are in storage. But, I made do with what we had, and the cupcakes with chocolate frosting came out delicious and pretty. Mission accomplished.



Liam gave both of us a wonderful present this morning. He woke up at 6:00AM, took his bottle and then went back to sleep. UNTIL 10:00AM!!! Do you know how long its been since we've slept in that late?!??! About 10 months. That's how long its been. Besides that, we didn't do much today - went for a fantastic run and then spent some time cleaning (for the record, I made it very clear that Pat didn't have to do any cleaning....but he declined), and ate a couple of great meals. We already celebrated a bit on Thursday at our cooking class, and I bought tickets for us to see The Dark Knight at IMAX tomorrow afternoon. But it was a nice day overall :)

We're here!

We made it to St. Ignace! Liam and Pat are wrestling around on the bed next to me laughing....I'm pretty sure Liam is ridiculously happy to be out of the car! It was 6 hours yesterday, and another 3 today. He was a very good traveler though, and I'm thankful for that! I'm trying to be mad at Pat since he's pretty much being a Big Giant Jerkasaurus Rex, but seeing the two of them play together pretty much makes my heart a big pile of goo. I'll try to be hard here for a few minutes longer, but I don't know how long I can hold out.

Today commemorates Liam and Pat's first trip across Big Mac! She's such a beautiful bridge...I can't believe it was Pat's first time across. Who is from Michigan and hasn't been across? Pat O'Brien, apparently.

On the drive up here I remembered how much I love this area. Nothing but trees as far as the eye can see....rolling hills of green against the beautiful blue sky....dotted with smooshy white clouds. Pretty much the essence of peace and beauty for me. For Pat....not so much. To him, it represents....um......nothingness. And hillbillies. And Beef Jerky.

So now we're just waiting for the rest of my family to get here, then we'll head out to the Mayer Family Reunion at my cousin Todd's home. Until later....

Happy Mother's Day!

Wanted to take a couple pics of my little man and me today.....these are the best of the bunch :) I realize today is supposed to be a day to give thanks and show appreciation to the mother, but for me, I just want to thank and give appreciation for those who MADE me a mother :) Namely, Pat and Liam. I'm just so thankful and grateful for where I am right now - its an amazing feeling!

Oh, and I'm incredibly grateful for the other mother's in my life, friends, family, my mom and mother-in-law, and grandma - you've all given me a great template to follow :)

So what did I want for Mother's day? Not much - just an all day Jammie Day and breakfast (yummy pancakes, dyed pink even!). I did want to go to the zoo, but its super craptastic out, so we'll have to wait another day for that. The rest of today will probably be spent watching the Indiana Jones Trilogy, which I've never seen in completion (we're on Temple of Doom right now). Its been an amazing day - I can't wait for many mother's day's left to come :)

Interesting times.....

I've been on Meds now for depression for, oh, about three months. Started on zoloft, changed to wellbutrin in the hopes that my sex drive would come back......it did, but so did a whole slew of obsessive/compuslive thoughts, and I was soooo irritable and crabby - and really couldn't focus or concentrate for beans. So, we just switched again to lexapro. I'm crossing my fingers that this works! I just want to be a normal, functioning human being again!!!

Pat has been traveling a ton this past month, and last week without him was HOR-RI-BLE. I was pretty sure that Liam was teething like a mo-fo, and he started to get sick too. Double Whammy. I think I was already PO'd because Pat was gone, then irritable because of the meds, cranky because of all the medical procedures I've had done, and ON TOP of all that, Liam did NOT want to sleep. At all. Until 4AM. Oh, and he was screaming. And he didn't want to let me sit down. Wow - that was incredible. I lost it at around 3AM, just put him in his bed, screamed into a pillow, banged my head against the fridge (gently, but you get the point) and let him cry. Then he started throwing up because he was crying so hard about 30 minutes later....but thankfully I was calmed down enough to take care of him more patiently and lovingly. He feel asleep shortly after.

All I have to say is thank the SWEET LORD for wraps and slings, because if I didn't have those I know I wouldn't have lasted as long as I did!

Anyway, I recovered......but vowed to never EVER ever be alone with him again. EVER. Of course, it was just the emotion of the day after, but I arranged for my mom to come visit while Pat was away on his next trip (he left this morning). I was so happy she was here.

Liam is still sick, so mom and I took him to the doctor today to make sure he didn't have an ear infection or pneumonia or anything horrible. He just slept pretty shit-ily last night, and didn't really want anything to do with his bottle today. Lucky for us, he's A-OK...just a cold, and DEFINITELY some teeth coming in (hooray!) You can even start to see them sprouting now :)

So we leave the doctor and go to the grocery store to pick up some stuff. All the sudden, Liam starts SCREAMING and I see blood in the corners of his mouth. ACK! I flipped out!!! It wasn't gushing mind you, but it wasn't a little bit of blood either. I have no idea what happened. My mom thought a tooth broke through, or maybe he scratched his mouth or something......so we left our full grocery cart in the isle and go to the car, and by time we get him in the car seat the bleeding stopped. I still called the doc, and they're like, well.....if its gushing, take him to the ER, if its not, you can come in after hours in about three hours......We didn't have to go back though - he was his ol' perky happy self shortly thereafter. I still have no idea what happened.....

Definitely freaked me out though. I don't know what I would have done if my mom weren't here......I don't have a whole heck of a lot of confidence in my patience or parenting skills right now.....I know that it will come back eventually as the intensity of these events fade, but I just feel like I can't do much right at the moment!

*sigh* It feels good to get that all out. Well, out to some venue other than my therapist :) actually, I think that's a good sign in of itself. When I'm feeling really down and out, I rarely feel like blogging. So, the fact that I am blogging means I'm feeling better already!

What a year

Happy Anniversary to us!!! Its hard to believe a year has passed, and what an amazing year it has been. We celebrated early with a trip to Fogo de Chao, and had a lovely lunch with a nice bottle of wine and yummy special anniversary cake. That restaurant is significant because A) we had our wedding dinner there, and B) because its the place he first told me "Everything is better with you". Awwww - how romantic was that?!?! Its kind of nice to have "our restaurant" :)

Thank you Patrick, for the most amazing year of my life - here's to many more amazing years, full of laughter, happiness and perseverance through the times that aren't so rosy. I love you.

My Favorite Boys

Pat and I went to Milwaukee yesterday for work, and on the way home we stopped at Carter's Outlet to try to snag some good deals. We found a lot of things, one of which was the cutest little outfit - a red/white striped shirt with a whale on it, and the most adorable jean overalls. He's sooo cute sometimes! And I get so excited to capture on film my two favorite boys :) I will love them forever!!!

New Do......

I chopped off 12 inches of my hair to donate to Locks of Love......

Before (it doesn't look that long here I guess - since its all kinky from sleeping on it crazy - but trust me, it was long):


After - I also got some golden highlights. Its been almost three years since I've colored my hair! You can also see my cool new carrier! isn't it awesome!?!?


And now, some cool pics of Liam and Daddy. I've been playing around with Lightroom presets.....pretty fun so far!


That's all for now :)

Ahhhh - beginning to feel normal again :)

And needing to post pics of my little man :)

Every once and a while you just get a shot that makes the 100's of photos you take so worth it :) This was definitely one of those! He just made this silly little face, and I happened to be pushing the button at the same time. *Sigh* I love his crazy hair!!

Hard to believe he's approaching 4 months, isn't it?

Lets see, we did buy a new computer (hooray!) - got a great deal on a beauty from Costco! But Pat has hijacked it until he gets all his CD's (which is hundreds) ripped and safely on his iPod. The man and his music. I think he has over 30 Bruce Springsteen CD's. Every other song on shuffle is Bruce. I mean, yeah, he sings OK.....but, jeez!

Also bought a copy (an actual legitamate, not pirated copy!) of Photoshop CS3! I'm so excited!! That is on its way and should be here this week, just in time for Pat to give me the computer back from his hijacking it! I can't wait to get back to scrapping!

:::::::::::: Health Update ::::::::::::

Well, I haven't really been myself lately. Really since, Liam was born. OK, really, since I stopped taking my depression meds in July 05 :) Anyway, its just been really difficult for me to function - being sad all the time - its not hard for me to function as far as being a Mom, I think I'm doing a great job at that.....but taking care of myself, the house, and work - well, it just wasn't happening. I've been going to a therapist since October....and that seemed to help for a while, but its just not enough.

So, I made the tough decision to start to wean Liam. There is a lot of research out there that says it is safe to breastfeed while taking some meds.....but not everyone is in agreement, and they definitely aren't long term studies. My doctor felt pretty adamantly about it - he said he wouldn't perscribe the meds if I was going to continue. So after a lot of my own research, I decided I didn't quite feel comfortable enough to exclusively breastfeed. I'm going to cut out the day time feedings, and if my supply will allow, continue with two feedings a day, one in the morning, one at night. These two feedings will also be at the time where the drugs are at the lowest in my system, so I feel better about that too.

That's the logical side of the story.

The reality is that it was a HARD decision for me to come to. HARD. I bawled like a baby the night the doctor perscribed the meds. It just broke my heart. For a lot of reasons. I worked SO hard to get to this point - breastfeeding was TOUGH at first. So hard. It was so easy to see why some women just can't do it. And after working so hard to achieve something, its heartwrenching to give it up. And I really enjoy the closeness and breastfeeding relationship Liam and I have right now. It makes me feel pretty darn special to nourish his body with something I produce.

I really didn't have a set goal for breastfeeding him - I started out small - just make it through the first week - just make it through 2 weeks, then a month, then two months - then four......ultimately I would have liked to do 6, but four is pretty darn good considering I wanted to throw in the towel a million times around week 2.

I know he'll do just fine on formula, and I know I'll still get lots of snuggles and cuddles. It just is a big change.