I’ve been feeling relatively sorry for myself all day – as happens once and a while, but particularly when there is a family celebration that I am missing, or a holiday comes around. You’d think I’d be happy for the huge meal we are going to share with our friends, but instead I’m bitching and moaning how I can’t find stinkin Pilsbury biscuits to cook for dinner – cursing Mexico and cursing the fact that I can’t celebrate the way I would like and with whom I would like. God forbid an entire country and culture not bend backwards to provide Me with the kind of American Holiday I want……
Now that I have made an attempt to really think about what makes me so angry and upset about it all, it turns out that its a pretty selfish (and ridiculous) reason. Yes, its because I miss many people and want to be surrounded by people that I love. But I think another major contributing factor is that people are still having fun and celebrating and living just fine without me. I know its irrational and really normal people wouldn't think this way.....but it feels like "Eh, we don't need you around to live life and enjoy and have a good time - you're not THAT important". I guess thats the part that really makes me crabby. I just feel so lonely and left out, even though I'm here surrounded by family and quasi-family/friends.
Anyway, when I was browsing the web, looking for articles to read while I am procrastinating, and I came across this article: TROOPS ABROAD PROUD TO SERVE ON HOLIDAY
Shame on me for being so self centered.
I can find most of the foods that make my holiday special. I have a brother here to hug and friends to laugh and share with. I can say I will eat my meal without worrying about getting shot….heck, I even get to leave work a little bit early in order to help with some of the dinner preparations. There are many troops out there who won’t get to mark this holiday with anything special, who have to work around the clock, and yet they are still Thankful for their lives, and for the freedom they are protecting.
Maybe they bitch every once and a while too, but compared to me, I think they are entitled to it. Makes me feel pretty silly for my little pity party….and has definitely shined some ever so necessary perspective into my sheltered little life.