I despise bottle feeding Liam. Like, physically doing it myself. It makes me angry. I feel awkward...like I don't know what I'm doing. Like I'm learning to nourish and feed him all over again. Ugh - I hate the way that feels.
This morning was the last time I breast-fed him. So as of today, he's officially weaned. I had visions in my head of this last time being picture perfect....me looking lovingly down at his beautiful little face as he drank mama's milk, pausing only to smile sweetly at me. Instead - it was pretty much the opposite! He was fidgety, fighting me most of the way because - lets face it - its just much easier to drink out of a bottle.....and getting that most of the time now, I know its his preferred method of feeding.
To tell you the truth I was kind of offended. I know he's just a baby, and when it comes down to it, he doesn't care where he's getting his nourishment from, as long as its yummy, and preferably in the easiest delivery method possible! But, I wanted him to want milk from his Mommy :(
*sigh* And my boobs really hurt right now because they are filling up......ouch!
Although I'm having difficulty emotionally with it......its whats best for us right now. Not just because I'm taking medication. I really must admit, there is a certain amount of freedom from not having to breastfeed. Its nice not having to pump during the day - and giving up night time responsibility to share with Pat is nice too. So there is a small, silver lining, and I know I'll feel better about it all soon.