I'm not sure what it is about motherhood that turns you into a complete reminiscent wreck. Do you know what I mean? Like, looking at your child and going "Ohmygosh! Where did the time go?". Every mom does it; wonders how on earth time has passed so quickly and brought forth this big child from what was her little, itty bitty, tiny baby. And what, exactly, is it about that whole process that makes us so sad? I mean, isn't the whole point of procreating to raise these little people into good, God Fearing adults? We know its going to happen. We celebrate each milestone with reverie and jubilation, anticipating the next with bated breath.....
And yet, there are moments like these.
I'm feeding Liam his last bottle of the night. We're in a comfortably dark bedroom, in the cozy comfy chair I spent so much time in the early days nursing him and comforting him at my breast. I say the "Our Father", not forgetting to bless Hugo and the kitties. I look down at the amazing little man on my lap, gently rubbing his super soft and chubby legs, with the occasional tweak of a jelly bean toe. The little boy, sprawled out across both arms of the chair and my lap, 10 inches longer and 14 pounds heavier than 9 months before. He finishes his bottle, and I put him on my shoulder, hoping as I do every night that maybe he will let me enjoy a couple cuddles before he becomes listless and wants to be put to bed.
And he does.
This time, its only about two minutes. Two blissful minutes. But that is much longer than the 10 seconds and two burbs that I normally get. My little boy is quietly asleep in my arms - I enjoy how heavy he feels and how warm his little body is. This little boy who is my son.
My zen is broken by Thalia, the cat, as she jumps off the bed and meows to be fed. The sound of her thump jars Liam awake, and he squirms in the way he does to be put in bed so he can drift of to dreamland as babies do. I lay him down, push a binky into those sweet little lips that are already searching for one, carefully drape his blue blankie over him and whisper "I love you, Little Bear" as I do each night I put him to sleep. He pulls the blankie over his face, rolls on his side, and drifts immediately off to sleep.
I came out of his room teary eyed. I'm not sure what I'm in awe for.....the only thing I can think of is the incredible blessing that Liam has been in our lives. God entrusted us to take care and nurture this amazing little boy - and I think we're doing a helluva job so far. I'm so proud we are able to provide him with lots of love, hugs and kisses....and I'm so happy he gives them back in return.