I'm glad the game wasn't on TV. I might have actually tossed my cookies. It was heartbreaking enough watching the final plays on ESPN's play by play gig.
Michigan's loss to Appalachian State was as big of a suprise for me as it was for everyone else. I mean, I know the first game of the season is normally a fluff off game, but guys, you HAVE to show up enough to WIN. For PETE'S SAKE!!! *sigh* I can't even talk about it anymore because its making me upset.
::::::::: WORK DRAMA :::::::::
The past few weeks have been difficult for me with regards to work. I can't remember if I've posted it before, but my job responsibilities are changing - from less of a sales role to more of a promotion/education role for other architects and engineers. Which, in theory, is fantastic - because I've always loved that part of the industry, and I know I'm very well qualified and it will work out well with my new role as a mommy too. But, the whole thing is kind of cloudy - ill-defined - if you will, and has left me in a bit of limbo.
To tell you the truth, I was just starting to find a groove with the sales role. And I was really diggin' it. And I realize now why some other sales guys I've known through the years showed a bit of territorial-ness when it came to their customers. Because they are YOUR customers! You spend the time to get to know them, determine their needs, and its really tough to just hand them over to someone else!
So the issue I've been having is this transition period between my old and new job, and the transition of handing off my customers to the new guy (who, by the way, is SUPER cool, and very knowledgeable - especially for being right out of college!) while trying to prepare for the new role that I will enter into after maternity leave. The whole thing just wasn't/isn't very well mapped or planned out. I tried and tried, on various occasions, to put together a formal plan with my boss to try to avoid some of this confusion, but I couldn't come up with anything super specific (being new to the sales role as I am - with 6 months under my belt) so we had more of a general umbrella of who would be covering what.....etc.
Without a firm plan in place, the resulting feeling for me is inadequacy. Basically, I feel like I can't complete my job roles because of my pregnancy (I'm restricted to stay in the Chicago Metro area - which cuts off about 75% of my territory), which is making me not able to visit customers and in general, I feel like (at least in my eyes) I look incompetent.
I will admit, its a bit tough to be a woman in this industry...not superficially...people aren't saying rude comments and telling me to get back in the kitchen and bake some pies. But its like this semi-transparent, looming black cloud. Its like a stereotype that is baked into people's heads that a women sales person isn't as good as a man, isn't as easy to talk to, relate to, etc. Its not anything that can be helped, I don't think. And being pregnant on top of that, is just adding to the stereotype. Its not just the customers, either, but I think the thoughts of management as well.
The only analogy I can think is this: If I were walking at night down an alley, and saw a big scary looking tatooed up shaved head man walking toward me, I would definitely be a tad bit alarmed, automatically thinking this person would attack me or rob me. Not that I'm predjudiced against big scary looking dudes, but its just where the mind is programmed to go.
I realize that additional effort needs to be made to make up for this thought process, but its tough to go the extra mile when you're not even sure what your responsibilites are. And dammit, sometimes it just gets hard to slather on a smile and pretend like everything is going great.
This makes me cry (thus further adding to the stereotype) and that, my friends, is never a good thing for a pregnant woman to do....because sometimes its really hard to stop.
::::::::: ON TO HAPPIER THINGS :::::::::
Pat and I had a great weekend in Indiana. And just in case you're wondering, I would still consider it Metro Chicago, seeing as how its only a 45 minute drive from my hospital (gotta respect doctors orders!). It was just nice to hang out and have fun with family. Even nicer to feel like its my family. I took about a zillion photos of the goings on (namely a game of bags, and two hand touch football), of which I'll post a bit later when I get a round to it. A million thanks to Mike & Kristen & Family for putting up with us and feeding us for a couple of days. You guys ROCK.
::::::::: LAST BUT CERTAINLY NOT LEAST :::::::::
A giant happy birthday wish to my dear dear little baby sister, who is now officially 16 years old. Sweet LORD! Where did the time go??? I hope you have a fantastic day Karli-girl!