Monday, January 17, 2005

Crushed Hopes

Maybe I'm being a bit dramatic, but up until now there has not been any talk of this deal potentially not going through. I've thought of it as an "when" deal more at this point as opposed to an "if".

Turns out not so. There apparently is some resistance from Apasco to burden some of the payroll (i.e. my salary) which they normally do in instances of manufacturing transfers. If they do not want to pay their half of the salary, Holcim (US) doesn't want to pay the full amount to cover the cost. Which means I won't go.

Jessica (Holcim US HR) remains optimistic.....But guarded......That they will be able to come to an agreement. Hopefully they will know either way in the next couple of weeks.

Its funny how I'm so nervous to take on the risks and adventure of moving to a completely different country. So nervous in fact, that at times I feel terrified! Its very difficult to think of leaving my language, families, friends, jobs and life, everything that is comfortable and known. But when the realistic possibility arises that I might not go to Mexico - my heart hurts. Crushed actually. In fact, I'm fighting back tears as I type.

What's also funny is that I always thought if it didn't work out I would be OK with it. That at least I tried to work out something that I've wanted a very long time. Truth be told I'm not used to NOT getting what I work for. *sigh* I suppose I should spare the heartbreak until I find out for sure, but it really STINKS thinking that it might not happen.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

You know how those Mexicans are, right? They are always afraid of the Americans steeling their jobs. Ops ... I think it is the other way around. Karin, you're making the word a more confused place.
Anyway, this is a Latin country, so I think you will only be sure you're going a couple days before your starting date over there.
And if you can't get a job in Mexico, you may try to work in the South of Texas. You won't be able to tell the difference. :)

Me said...

Either way this sucks Karin and im sorry that you're going thru this. Waiting is always the hardest part or so says Tom Petty, who by the way, had a younger Johnny Depp star in a video for him in the early 90s or late 80s. If my bit of random trivia and your web log association with Johnny Depp doesnt make you happy, i dont know what can? Maybe he's reading this and will make it happen. $$...I shall think monetary thoughts for u.

Also, NOT getting what u work for is a motherf*cker aint it. Unfortunately i dont work very hard either way so i cant complain too much.

Me said...

Are you feeling any better today?

Karin said...

Yes, feeling better :) Thanks for asking......

And thoughts of JD definitely put a smile on my face!

Karin said...

Anonymous - True, I really probably won't know until I get on the plane to go down there! Until then though - I can at least practice my Spanglish :)