Tracking Traffic.....

A while ago I put code in my blog so I could track who was coming to visit and read.....its a pretty cool system, and after I installed it I was obsessed with checking my traffic stats. I can proudly say I've gone from approximately 8 visitors a day to over 14. WHOOO HOOO! I've always been hesitant to mention it because it feels kind of "Big Brother" ish, you know? But what the heck - there are pretty much trackers on EVERY website you visit, so why should mine be any different? The cool thing about it - besides the fact that you can see what city and country they are visiting from, how long they were reading, when they left, the IP address - is seeing how they arrived. I see if the readers arrived from a click on an email I sent, or from a link on a message board. I get a lot of random visits from people searching google. Some of the most recent searches..... "Pilsbury Sock it to Me" "Love Toe Socks" "Porristas Big A$$ Bums" <-- porrista is the spanish word for Cheerleader There has also been a lot of searches for Christmas Music - from Dolly Parton & Kenny Rogers to the Vince Guaraldi Trio. Pretty interesting actually. Recently I noticed I link from another Mexican website, so I went to visit. Apparently it is a listing of all the English blogs that are written from Mexico. Both Keith and I made the list - you can see it here --> BLOGS OF MEXICO Pretty cool how its all interconnected, eh? ::::::::::::::MUSICAL INTERLUDE:::::::::::::: So my brother Kyle has been working at his music from the second he learned how to play a guitar (maybe 14, 15 years old ish?). I've always enjoyed listening to his music, even if its not really "my style" per se. He recorded a CD with a friend, Jim Baker - but it was never released to due publication issues...... Jim moved from GRap to Chicago, and is working with another group (which apparently started back in Flint Town way back in the day) - more of a hip-hop rap jazz fusion sound - called The Massey Trio. They released an album called "The City of Ill" and you can purchase it on iTunes (sorry I don't have the link - iTunes is blocked from work. Dammitall anyway!)....or you can hear some samples on their myspace page or CDBaby - a review site for independant music. Kyle is featured on a couple songs, although not an official member of the group. I was just amazed and blown away by the track called "Lost Apostle". The other track he sings in is called "They Think They're Soliders". Check it out - Kyle is the one singing the vocals (not the rapper dude). The rest of the album is OK, (Like I said before, not really my gig) - but the Lost Apostle really caught my ear. They are playing next Friday night, the 15th at THE NOTE in Chicago (Wicker Park area). If you have a sec check them out! ::::::::::::::SELF ESTEEM:::::::::::::: You know, for not having a lot to say today, I sure do have a lot to say! I decided to run and experiment this week.....I was going to see if I could go every day this week with doing my hair, dressing not frumpy and wearing makeup. The truth is I never saw much benefit in getting all hussied up every day just to make yourself easier on the eyes of other people. I'm not big on doing things just for someone else, you know? But, when Pat O'Brien is around I find myself trying to be more presentable, just cuz it feels good, you know? Not like I need to impress him, but I guess I was just doing it unconciously (until I noticed it last weekend). So I started my experiement Monday. Well, I didn't do it Monday because Pat O'Brien left super early and I was tired, but every other day I did. Now, I didn't get all hooered out or anything - just a couple swipes of eyeshadow, a scoshe of mascara & eyeliner, blush and some lip gloss. And you know what, I felt pretty good about myself all week. I looked nice, I got complements from random people....I think it was not just because I actually did look that good, I think it had to do with the attitude I was portraying. I smiled more, stood taller, etc etc. So my experiment showed me that 10 minutes of primping in the moring is actually good for the rest of the day. Hmmm....maybe it will become a habit.

Storytime - the end of a journey

Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus! {177/(365/2)}, originally uploaded by ~*~ KO ~*~.

This pic from yesterday represents one of my favorite things about being a Mom - reading to my kids :) Not only that, but it gives me great, great, heart bursting joy to know that my kids enjoy reading books too. I mean, to fight over how many books to read at night? What better fight to have!!

This particular book cracks me up - and if you haven't read any Mo Willems books, then you absolutely MUST! Pigeon is great - Piggie and Gerald are also awesome. Good times to be had by all.

THis picture also makes me a bit sad, in a way. I've decided recently to put the kibosh on my 365 project, cutting it in two and stopping at 182. Why? Many reasons, I suppose....its not the actual picture taking that takes a lot of time, its the processing and posting, but also its the Flickring as a whole.....visiting friends photos, posting, praising, getting lost on Flickr. Its a huge time suck that I don't have the time for right now. I've got to focus on work, on my business, and my family....and I can't afford right now to spend any more time on the computer than I have to, or I may go mad.

I know many of you have enjoyed my journey, and I really appreciate all your kind words and encouragment (especially you, Mom & Dad :) ). Affirmation is definitely my friend. But in less than a week, I shall walk away. I'd like to say that I'll still continue to post occasionally, but the track record shows that I more than likely won't. If I get burned out on something I have to walk away and recoup for a while before dipping my toes back in.

Back to why this particular pic makes me a bit sad....well, walking away from this project means missing out on opportunities like this. I may have never taken this photo had I not been participating in a 365 project. That goes for many, many other photos like it. I'm hoping that participating in this for as long as I did will make me more aware of capturing me in the picture as well as those around me.

I'm so proud of everything I've produced, and the memories that I've captured and told. I know they'll bring me joy for years to come. I still plan on producing a book to hold all the quippets and memories, it will just be half as thick :)

Thank you, 365/2 journey - for all you've taught and brought me.

Sleep, sweet sleep.

I'm incredibly tired today.

Not unlike most every day when my child wakes up before 5AM. Honeybuns did a fantastic job of keeping him occupied (even after a 3Am wake up call from Lola...but she went back to sleep). I still didn't really sleep after his initial wake up. Its like I just laid in bed and was PRAYING to get back to sleep, but not actually sleeping. I was thinking Maybe if I pretended hard enough, it would actually find me and then I would feel refreshed and ready to tackle the day after sleeping for another 30 minutes.

The truth is, I'm NEVER ready to jump out of bed and attack the day. I don't like mornings. Never have. Ask my college room / housemates. Somedays I feel like I could just lay there for days on end, warm and under the covers, protected from the stresses of the world. I almost feel like if I'm in bed - I have no responsibility other than to keep myself warm.....but the second my feet hit the hardwood, I've got to take care of everyone else.

Alas, the world beckons me to wake from my slumber, day after day...and I keep pushing back, begging my kids to give Mommy a couple more minutes of sweet, sweet time for me.

*Sigh* Isn't that an eternal battle of parenthood? Trying to get your kids to sleep better? It's like we fight and fight to get them to sleep well, but then by the time they're teenagers we're fighting to get them to get their lazy bones out of bed. Perfect example of the grass is always greener. I realize I should resign to the fact that I'm never going to sleep as well as or as long as I'd like to, but I can't seem to let it go.


Side Note: In general, the kids are great sleepers, much, MUCH better than many other kiddos out there. They go to bed easily, take naps well, and in general, sleep through the night. Its just the early wake up from Liam that is killer. He's just like his dad in that regard, a happy morning person. Lola on the other hand, is my kind of girl. We often have to wake her up to get ready to head to school. I think she'd sleep until 9 if we let her. Thankfully though, even when we do wake her up, she's all sweet and smiles, dancing in a half awake head bopping daze to "Good Morning to You" and "You are My Sunshine". Sometimes I even get a half sleepy "Cha Cha Cha" at the end :)

So, yeah, its not all that bad :) It is the actual act of getting out of bed for me that's the worst.

Another side note: Tomorrow's Self Portrait theme is The Karate Kid Pose!!! I'm pretty pumped about it :) I just have to think of / find a great location....

I don't think its sunken in yet.....

After a little over two years of unemployment, I officially accepted a job offer today.

I still don't think its sunken in yet.

I'll be a process engineer for a family owned business in Mokena, Il....playing in rocks and dirt :) This opportunity literally fell in my lap last week, after they found my resume on ConstructionJobs.com - I signed up on that website after Pat's suggestion shortly after I lost my job.....so I guess that means I owe this opportunity to him?? LOL.

I've enjoyed this break from the corporate world, but I must say I've enjoyed being a Stay at Home Mom less than I expected I would. Especially since the birth of Lola, I've struggled with a lot of unexplained anger issues / depression / general malaise......and although therapy is helping, I think there is more to it. The anger portion is the most frustrating. Those of you who know me, I don't think, would describe me as an angry person.

I'm not thrilled with the idea of leaving my kids in the care of someone else.....but I'm kind of excited for them to not be with me all day......

I'm not sure that going back to work full time is the answer to all my issues......but I'm not sure its NOT the answer, either. Does that make sense? I guess the truth is there is no right or wrong answer - in either case my kids will be great, and in the end its what makes me a healthier, happier more mentally stable person that counts most. I feel like I'm taking this opportunity because its a great company, and I think I can make a significant and immediate impact......

This changes the outlook of my photography business, too. Just means I'll fulfill my current appointments and be taking limited sessions in the future.....

This post is full of..........'s. Very indicative of how I feel right now though.......

Tough Day.....

Occasionally, Liam will have these days where he's constantly whining, crying, and battling me at every corner. Instead of getting upset, I try to just give him a hug and say "I'm sorry you're having a tough day". Somehow it seems to comfort him, even if only for a little bit.

I had a tough day today......nothing major, but everything together warranted a stop at Dairy Queen for a Oreo CheeseQuake Blizzard. Which was delicious by the way ;)

1) My sister left....she came for a whirl wind visit and took the train back to Michigan today. I love having her around - she's great with the kids, helps me out and in general is lovely to have around :) It makes me sad when she goes away.

2) We're not moving to Michigan....not shocking, I know :) Pat applied for a new job within his company. He had an interview last week, and he was notified today that he wasn't a final candidate. We knew when he applied it was a longshot, but it was impossible to keep my mind from running away with all the possibilities of moving back. I love Chicago....and I love my family, friends and network here. But if given the chance to move to Michigan to be closer to my immediate family I would take it in a heartbeat. I love Michigan. I have a very romantic relationship with the state. The Pure Michigan advertisements make me cry damn near EVERY time I hear or see them. I'm pretty sure they are advertising directly to me.

He prepared all he possibly could, he did his best, and I couldn't be more proud. Rejection sucks in any form - but Pat, I love you so much! And I'm proud of you regardless ;)

Now I have to re-train my brain to let go of living in Michigan again after that faint glimmer of hope.....I did it the first time shortly after Liam was born. Hopefully the process isn't quite as painful this time around.

3) I had an MRI....I've been having this ear thing for the past year and a half (I can't hear out of my right ear very well), and the doctor wants to make sure (in the words of the Governator) its Not a TU-Mah. The MRI itself wasn't awful. It was an hour of uninterrupted time - no kids, no tv, no husband, no internet....just me and the radio and the loud banging and whirring. The part I wasn't prepared for was that I had to have an IV so they could inject Gadolinium (Gd)......which leads me to my next point

4) Today was my last day breastfeeding Lola. We've been slowly weaning over the past few weeks, and this week left us with only one feeding a day, in the morning. Because of the injection of the contrast, I can't feed her for 48 hours....so instead of delaying the inevitable I decided that it would be best just to stop. I wasn't expecting it to be today, I'm not sure I'm emotionally prepared, but not much I can do now. She's more than ready....I'm just going to make sure to get my snuggles some other way. It's like I have to let go that she's not my itty bitty anymore, and just embrace the fact that she's a chunky monkey.....

So, lots of downs today....but at least things are more concrete than they were yesterday and we can continue moving on. I pray that God gives me the strength to pick myself back up, dust off, and forge ahead stronger than ever....and I have no doubt that I will.

Free Thinking.....

Tomorrow I have my last 5AM shift at The Container Store. I'm sad and relieved at the same time. I've enjoyed my short two months working there, but those mornings are killer. I've got a couple other shifts scheduled over the weekend, but my last day will be Feb 15th. They've so graciously let me know whenever I'm ready to come back, they'd love to have me ;) Its just too tough trying to work through Pat's ever more complicated work / travel schedule. I feel like he's going to be gone the next 3 out of four weeks.

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Last week this time I was on a train to Michigan, getting ready for a Mommy/Lola girls weekend. The train ride was LOVELY :) It makes me want to take a cross country trip with a sleeping car with the whole family. And just do nothing. Make it an adventure. See the country side. I don't know.....maybe it would be miserable. Maybe it will be a better idea when the kids are older. But when I think about it, in my head, its awesome.......something romantic about seeing the USA the way people did it when the West was Wild.....and so much nicer than having to drive yourself. Drift in and out of sleep when you want, get up to use the rest room or grab a snack whenever the mood strikes. Yeah. I dig it!

I didn't get any photos of the ride on the train with my good camera, but I did get some fun ones from my camera phone....maybe I'll upload them at somepoint.

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Pat was so nice to come with us to Gymnastics yesterday - I got some pretty adorable photos of Liam & pals. AND, i didn't even have to hold Lola because Adrian took her for me so I could snap snap away :) I like taking photos for fun! I don't do it enough anymore.

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I'm running low on steam today. We were supposed to host playgroup here, but Liam was up last night barfing, and I was up most of the night listening intently waiting for him to barf again so I could run in there and catch it in the bucket.

So.
Very.
Tired.

There wasn't enough coffee to keep me happy or awake. Thankfully, with slow, intentful introduction of liquids and bland food he was able to not hork chunks all over the place. Although I was always watching out of the corner of my eye.

Lola was annoying to me for the first time I think ever. She was just so darn demanding in her need for my attention. She's usually pretty independent, which I've apparently become very accustomed to.....I think she's still recovering from the constipation-ness (which was overcome last night at around 5AM), and maybe fighting a little bit of a cold. Crap. That's totally it. She's getting sick! Ugh. I should have been more compassionate today. My tired mind has been clouded......I wanted to wear her today, but my back has been hurting too.

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That's all........time for an early sleepy time for me!

Lazy dayz

Or should I say less than lazy? We've been a pretty busy family as of late, but then again, who isn't? I'm just trying to place the blame of being a lazy blogger somewhere other than on my shoulders ;) I think that I'm doing a rather good job of not parking my ass in front of the computer 100% though, so I suppose if a side effect of having a life not online is less frequent blogging, than so be it!

There is SO very much to say though! I realized so much is happening with Lola - so many new, cool, developing baby things - and I'm not documenting any of them because I'm not blogging! Because of this, I'll be *attempting* to do at least a weekly update of cool, new, Lola things :) This week, her newly learned skill is lifting her chubtastic little legs up in the air! Its so adorable (as are most things she does) - she lifts them up and puts her hands on her thighs because her legs can go any higher because of her chubby belly.....it makes me laugh every time! In addition to her leg awareness and strength, she's also mastering the art of sucking (or chewing, rather) on her thumb. Lola is pretty much a pro at sticking it in her mouth.....and she doesn't gag every time she does it anymore. She's also very aware of her hands, and as of today can grab a toy and hang on to it for a while. Her favorite (or Mommy's favorite) is a squishy, crinkly little starfish.

Lola has been doing well taking a bottle now, thanks largely in part to a different nipple design introduced by the Koesterim (thanks Keren!). She had been (and when I say she, I really mean Pat) struggling with a bottle for a while, and even though we tried the various designs / flow rates available from when Liam was a baby, we hadn't ventured to try other designs. And when I say we hadn't ventured, I mean we were too cheap to buy different ones that we didn't know would work. Keren gave us one of Ella's to try, and lo and behold, Lola took right to it! That has made Pat's life tremendously better.

Despite efforts made in the bottle feeding department (which Pat does when I'm off working at The Container Store), Lola still isn't the hugest fan of her daddy, which is terribly heartbreaking! She just 100% prefers to hang out with Mommy! (Not that I blame her, because I am supremely awesome!) It just makes me feel bad when she screams her head off when Pat holds her, and then I take her and she immediately stops crying. Most friends have assured me they've gone through similar phases, and its most likely due to the association with breastfeeding....she'll be daddy's little girl soon enough.

Speaking of breastfeeding - still going smashingly. Leaps and bounds and leaps and bounds easier than go 'round numero uno. I'm approaching the 4 month mark in a few days, which was as far as I got with Liam before we weaned him, and I'm looking forward to surpassing it. I have no expecations at this point - I only wanted to make it past 4 months, so any time here forward is a bonus. Not sure if I'll go the whole one year......lets put it this way. As long as its easy, I'll do it! And right now, its easy as pie ;)

And now, a Liam update. He's an incredible kid, and really does continue to amaze me. Most recently, he's amazing us with how far he pushes back to exert his independence and see just how far he can push limits. Amazing. And incredibly, incredibly frustrating. We're trying to be patient and good parents, but sometimes it is just so unbelievably hard. Right now, I'm just focusing on not yelling. Sometimes I feel like he won't listen at all - we ask him three times to do something, and it isn't until we yell that we get a reaction. Our librarian / friend suggested to try whispering. By golly, it seems to be working.....we'll see how long that lasts, though.

Aside from the pain in the assy-ness, his imagination is so cool to watch develop....playtime is definitely fun for the both of us! His favorite toys at the moment are Stickers and Mr. The King (Lightening McQueen and The King from Cars) and four monster trucks (Gravedigger, Captian's Curse, Hot Wheels, and Blue Thunder) that he likes to play with all together. They do a lot of climbing and jumping over things, just like they do in real life Monster Jam. Pretty hilarious. Espeically when they're doing stunts and I hear a very robust "AAAAAAHHHhhHHHHhh!" as they fly through the air :)

Oh! And a new favorite food for Liam: Edamame. He loves the stuff! And it is uber cool to watch him take them out of the pod himself. His cute little chubby fingers hard at work. So adorable!

And Liam is so, so, so very sweet with Lola. Really. It makes my heart melt and turn all sorts of fuzzy wuzzy mushy every time he interacts with her! Of course, there's times when I see a hint of jealousy when we're giving Lola attention, but as long as we take a second to include him in whatever we're doing, he's usually pretty happy to oblige, and I couldn't ask for anything more! The funniest thing is when he gets really close to her face, and puts on his BIGGEST smile possible trying to get her to give him "some Lola Smiles", and when she reacts to him, he just CRACKS up ;) So sweet. Seriously!

That about sums it up for the time being. I've got to get back to baking brownies - its a test run for next week's show down for Heidi's baby shower :) I hope they turn out!

Jingle all the way!!!!!!

Lets see, this is going to be less of a cohesive post and more of just a random stream of thoughts....

Was so happy to see the 3/4ths of the O'Hara family on Friday / Saturday morning! They came to Chicago to recall their daughter Janelle (Hi Jelly!) from the UK. Its always nice to have visitors, especially ones that like to entertain and snuggle my kids so I can get a break! I was bummed that we couldn't make it to the airport to join in the welcome celebration, but we had to.....

Go to Indiana for the O'Brien family Christmas! HOORAY! It was a shortened visit, but good times to hang out with the family nonetheless. Again, super fun to hang out with people who like to snuggle and play with our kids :) Liam scored some awesome Duplos (SOOO excited for him to like Legos!) and Lola got a super cute glow-wormy seahorse and BLAH einstein puppet guy :) And Pat & I will be dining at Fogo de Chao sometime in the future...I {heart} our family!

Liam has been battling this cold / congestion thing that is completely annoying. He gets SO congested, and then a few minutes later he's playing around and having fun. Ugh. Then there are the night sweats. He's awoke from sleep completely drenched in sweat. Its so gross, and I feel so aweful for him...but not sure there's anything at all we can do.

I've got more Container Store training tomorrow - then we're headed to the 'Naw for a quick trip before Christmas. I'm still a bit bitter for having my traditions broken and smashed into a million pieces (i.e. NOT being with my family on Christmas Day) but I'm trying to get over it and not be a complete bitch in the process. This is still a work in progress. Back to The Container Store - really enjoying the job so far!

Photography is still rolling along...I'm taking a hiatus for the rest of Dec & Jan after I edit this last set (which I should be doing now....but I'm taking a quick break).

I stepped down from the creative team of my favorite digital scrapbooking home - A Cherry on Top - I'm not digital scrapbooking much these days, and it was time to give someone else a chance to shine :) I'll miss working with those girls though!!

Lola is doing great - such a big chunkamonk! Pat and I agreed that we're totally in love with her chub. Chubbiewubbiesnoogy pants!! SO CUTE!

That's all for now...back to more editing!

What's the Point???

I ask you, dear readers....

What is the point of creating a fantabulous website and getting people all addicted to its fantastic games and connecting with people all across God's Green Earth....

....and then treating the addicts like crap by continually performing "maintenance" that makes said website perform like big, fat, hairy ass?

Ugh.

Is it because they know we'll keep coming back?

***fist up to sky*** CURSE YOU FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!

Halloweenie, Creepy Skulls and other Miscellany...

It was brought to my attention that most people (I.E. especially Pat, his brother, and family) find my incredibly adorable Árbol de la Vida adorned with Calacas and other Calaveras very creepy. Here are the items in question....


*sigh* They are so uncultured.....

I found my post where I tried to explain the concept of the Mexican Art when I purchasedback in 2006 (Egads, have I been blogging for that long!??). Its a rather long post though....and I found a better summary on Mexconnect. It all goes back to pre-Hispanic times (i.e. indiginous peeps before the Spaniards came to rape our land) and the duality / balance / equilibrium present in that culture.

"The skeletons and skulls of Mexican folk art reflect the dualism fundmental to the pre-Hispanic world view. Without duality in all aspects of life, the universe loses its equilibrium. Animal and human forms; masculine and feminine energies - all are needed. Of all these balancing forces, perhaps none is more significant than that of life and death."

So really, one would fear skulls over babies (death and life) no more than a man over a woman (masculine and feminine energies). That wouldn't make any sense, because all these play equal parts in balacing of the universe. Make sense now?? I think our own fear and creep-outie-ness of skulls and items associated with death are ingrained from a long oppression instilled by our mainly Christian roots, taught to fear death....at least that's how I feel about it.

And in understanding the roots of the art, I can appreciate the beauty! So its NOT creepy - its BEAUTIFUL!!!

Feeling blessed!

Its nice to be able to take a step back and really appreciate my life! Does that mean it is perfect? HEEEEELLLLLL NAW! But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate what I do have right at the moment. Today, it was a really, really nice day. Nothing in particular happened - In fact, it was rather ordinary. But a series of seemingly small things occured that really just made me feel blessed.

:::::::::::::::::: Little & Big Blessings ::::::::::::::::::

• Liam slept in until 6:50AM! I acutally woke up myself at 6:44 slightly concerned. I was going to give him another 10 minutes, and if he didn't stir I was going to check in on him. Thankfully, I didn't need to :)
• Liam and I had a nice, uneventful trip to the grocery store. We scored a cart with a car on the front (SWEEEET!) so Liam was happy playing while I took my time perusing through all the isle. And, a very nice cart boy helped me put the bags in the trunk. It was just, well, nice!
• Minimal fighting at most all diaper changes!
• Minimal resistance at ALL mealtimes
  
• Pat cooked an amazing dinner - homemade spaghetti & meatballs, even the sauce from scratch!
• We all ate the same meal, together, at dinner time! That was awesome!! Its been a string of separate meals for all of us lately, because we're too tired to cook something good, Liam typically wants to eat before we do (we're trying to change that though)....or even if we want to cook something good for us the refrigerator isn't stocked.
  
• Kitchen clean up was minimal, and dare I say, Easy!
  
• Only one time out for Liam today :)
• I was able to read a couple of chapters of my book.
• I took a two hour nap (when Liam did :) )
  
• Liam and I stole a little walk outside before dinner and the storms began.
• Bath time was nice and quiet.
• Bed time was great (even though we read "Blankie" for the seventy-hundreth time today)
  
• Pat & I snuggled on the couch and watched a DVD :) As much as I could snuggle anyway...I can only stay in one position for so long....

So that's really it. Just a really, really nice day. And, should I mention that my husband is looking particularly hunky today :) He's so handsome....just shaved his beard off yesterday and I had forgotten how delicious his skin is....don't get me wrong, I LOVE LOVE LOVE the manly lumberjack beard. LOVE it. Loved it even more that he did it after I asked him to grow it. But change is nice sometimes.

So now, I sit. I'm uncomfortable. I'm giant. I ate too much. I'm kind of crabby...but still somehow feeling so very blessed.....and wouldn't change anything for the world :)

Chupacabra???

OK, maybe not. But I awoke this morning and left the house to go to playgroup only to find a bloody massacre in my driveway. Ew. Complete with bunny fluff, blood, and intestine strewn about. It was an awful scene. I might be exaggerating a little bit, but honestly, it was gross.

I did hear some rustling about outside near the garbage cans last night as I was making Pat's birthday cake...but I didn't dare look because A) I'm a giant wuss and B) I tend to make stuff up in my head when Pat's not around. In either case, I figured I couldn't do anything about it, so because it subsided quickly I just let it be.

The first thing that came to my mind when I saw the mess this morning was Chupacabra...which literally translated means "Goat Sucker". Its a Mexican monster that eats goats (and little kids who wander from the campsite, according to our uncles)....although I'm pretty sure there were no goats involved last night, what else could it possibly have been?

Do any of you, cyber readers, know of any kind of suburban carnivore that would kill a small/medium size (bunny sized maybe?) animal, chomp it to smithereens in the middle of a driveway, and leave nothing but a bloody puddle, a foot of intestine and a couple of poofs of fluff? Judging by the color of the fuzz, I'm guessing it was a bunny (what would that be doing out in the middle of the night??) or maybe an opposum? Are there coyotes in the 'burbs? How about giant owls (aren't they kind of a fast food nocturnal killer?). I'm just curious.....and hoping I don't see the bloodbath again any time soon!

Learning how to fly

Liam and I were walking around the neighborhood this evening when we saw the coolest thing :) A new bird taking it's first flight. Well, I'm not sure if it was it's first flight EVER, but that's what I'm calling it in my head. We stopped for a good two minutes (which in Liam minutes is about an hour) and just watched him in the tree, flitting about, looking so very relieved that it landed safely in a tree. You could still see a bit of baby bird fluff on its head and neck, and even a bit of uncertainty in its eyes, not sure exactly what is coming next, but excited... I couldn't believe that Liam was so interested - like he knew it was something cool and special.

OK, maybe I'm reading a bit too much into it all, but it certainly was neat-o.

And fitting - especially since I'm embarking on a new adventure as of this evening. Pat went on a business trip, and Liam and I are flying solo for a couple of days - first time in the new house! Not a big deal to most people, but kind of a big deal to me. I'm a wuss. I don't do well in new places. I don't like being alone. Typically when Pat leaves I stay up way way LATE (like 2AM) until I can't possibly keep my eyes open anymore, and only then can I sleep. That's OK for one night. Not for multiple nights. Definitely not OK for a 5:30-6AM toddler wake up call that Daddy takes care of 90% of the time. Yeah, I really don't like doing all the work myself. Especially when I'm knocked up, vulnerable and whiney.

I thought I might go camping while Pat was gone, but that didn't work out because my body does not cooperate with the un-cushy-ness of camp chairs, not to mention the 6 hour drive. Then I thought I might enlist my cousin and kiddo to come stay with us...but then I realized that request is a little ridiculous. Its like asking someone to babysit yourself (thanks A, for not saying so at the time). Alas, I am an adult, it is my home and I think I've been here long enough where I can handle it on my own.

I think.

*le sigh*

The hardest part of this process is admiting my co-dependancy. Aformentioned cousin A says its OK to rely on each other when you're in a marriage. I suppose she's right. It just takes some getting used to admiting it all...

Critter update

We're not worried at the moment about the raccoons or the chipmunks.....but we did need to take care of the skunk. So we called a couple wildlife control services and decided to go with Smithereen - and not just because they had the coolest name. They weren't the least expensive (although all the quotes were in the same general ball park), but the guy (Dave) was prompt in his return phone calls, very informative and patient with all my questions...and just seemed plain nice.

He arrived this morning and set the traps next to our perpatrator's lair, baited them with marshmallows (heh. Who knew skunks like marshmallows???) and left us with instructions on what to expect and to call if we see the skunk in the trap in the next day or two. The traps are set in a way to only capture the skunk that is living under your stoop, not any random neighborhood skunk.

I heard a little bit of rustling shortly after dark (as did Thalia...she crept to the front door to investigate...which I promptly closed before she could get too close, even though the traps and stoop are way below kitty viewing from the front door). Pat just checked and shined the flashlight through the front windows, and sure enough, there's a cute little black and white dude trying to get out of his steel coffin.

*sigh*

I'm happy he won't be a nuisance to us anymore, but I'm pretty sad they will have to kill him. State law I think. I realize there are no shortage of skunks...He just looks so little, like he's still just a baby :( Pat thinks its an adult though. Even Dave the Smithereen Guy said they're harmless little buggers, especially once they get un-stinky. I'd kind of like to snuggle him. The skunk...not Dave. Is that weird?

Smithereen will come to collect him tomorrow, and I'm pretty sure they keep the traps for a few additional days to make sure there aren't any more taking residence in the same lair. I've got my fingers crossed that its just one, and not a family. I'd really be sad about killing baby animals. Last year a co-worker had to deal with a mama skunk and 5 babies, and it wasn't fun....then they give us tips on how to Skunk proof the porch, so no one else moves in.

One more thing crossed off the list!!

Zombie-licious

That's pretty much what I feel like today. A big, giant, flesh eating zombie. OK, minus the flesh eating part. I didn't sleep well last night (as I haven't the past few months or so) and I'm paying for it today. It was a combination of not being able to fall asleep until 1:30AM, and then waking up at 4:30 and not being able to fall back asleep. *sigh* it really blows. I'm going to do my best to contain my thoughts in an easily followable train of thought, but I really am in no position to make guarantees.

I'm a lucky girl - Liam has been quite content to play with himself & his cars this morning, so I've had minimal entertaining other than providing breakfast. He also hasn't complained too much about my musical choice (Jack Johnson on shuffle) so I've got that going for me. I've also had a semi productive morning thus far - I've placed two orders, one for Origins skin care and another for some computer stuff (Wacom Tablet, YAY!). I also somehow already managed to shower myself, dress, make coffee and eat, too.

< Rant > When I lost my job I decided I wasn't going splurge and purchase expensive skin care. Since then my skin has gone haywire. I realize part of that is being pregnant, but really, I enjoyed my products and felt good when I used them. So I decided I'm worth at least that. It might be $75 two or three times a year, but I'll scrimp and save to make it work. Because the $5 Oil of Olay stuff just isn't doing it for me. I cringe every time I put it on my face. And it doesn't smell pretty. < /end rant >

Can you believe its been about a year, to the day, since I was relieved from my corporate duties? Wow. That blows my mind. One year without having a real job. One year without having a car. I'm continuing to look, but to be honest there still isn't much out there. And I'm really enjoying (most days) taking care of Liam. Especially when we go to the park and see Nannies for the most part ignoring the kids and talking on the phone or texting. It's been a good year - we're still holding our own financially (thanks in part to Uncle Sam and Mr. Unemployment), but that will all end in another month....so it will be another interesting transition - one that I have no doubt that we'll conquer, even with adding another mouth to feed. I'm planning on ramping up the photography business, which has been holding its own without much tending over the past few months. So I feel safe.

I spoke too soon....Liam is demanding attention. Doesn't he know that I'm BUSY!??! The nerve of that child! *sigh* Whew - he's off to play in his fort. This is my other issue. I'm very short tempered and not able to dedicate much to anyone these days, especially Pat & Liam.....which is sad. It is improving since the first trimester has passed. I feel better for the most part, and I'm able to eat most things which is giving me a bit of energy. I'm still so tired constantly. And unable to deal with the easiest of tasks. Its frustrating!!! I'm not sure if the craziness and moodiness will pass as the nausea did (my bet is no) but hopefully Pat can continue to put up with it for 6 months. He's been amazing thus far, and surprised me with his patience and support.

The whole home selling thing isn't helping much either. I feel like I'm living in someone else's house, and its getting old pretty quick. I think we've been back on the market for about two months now. Still getting a pretty consistent flow of people, good feedback. I know there is someone out there....I'm just impatient and impetuous about it all (which, btw, isn't a correct use of that word, but I like the way it sounds so I'm keeping it in there).

OK. I suppose I've ignored my child long enough. It looks like it might be nice enough to go out for a walk, so I think we will....as soon as I finish this coffee.

O'Brien offspring update

Throughout the day Liam does so many new, cute and amazing things that I wish my memory were good enough to document them all! Alas, my memory, especially my pregnant memory, is particularly horrible - so as soon as I tell myself "Ah Karin! Don't forget that!" the thought is gone.

He's really talking and saying a lot right now, which amuses me to no end. There is nothing sweeter to my ears than the little voice of a child. One of his newest phrases is "Awww DUDE!" which sounds more like "Awww DOooo", but still adorable just the same. He's very into trying to repeat things that we say. He really enjoys pointing out and repeating letters. Its kind of cool to see that he's aware that each letter does have a name, even if he doesn't know which ones are which yet. He really likes to repeat letters called out on Wheel of Fortune. A favorite pastime, no doubt. Here are some other words / phrases that he knows, along with translations (if its not very obvious)

Liam-ese - Translation

Go Go - Hugo (purple hippo) or Jugo (juice)
Go Go - lets go go!
Awa - Agua
Titee - Kitty
Choo Choo - Choo Choo
Awwriiiiight - All Right!
Oh No!
No
Ar Car - Car
Ahh po - Apple
Dah dah (in cookie monster voice) - Cookie
Sometimes he actually says cookie!
Ah gog - Hot Dog
Beee - Beans
omma - Momma
Dada
ah pa / Papa
weeee - Please
Bee Bo - Belly button
Nana - Banana
Pee pee - Penis <-- very important one LOL
Up up
Ahpa - Help
Dow - Down
Me
No - Nose
Eye - Eyes
WeeeEEeee
Kee - Keys
Beep
wee wee - Tweet Tweet
OOOhs - Shoes
Ackie - Snackies
Quackie - Duck

I'm sure there are more that I'm missing, but that's as good as my poor little brain will do tonight. He's also doing so many cute things - like when I tell him to give something / someone "Big Hugs" he lays his head down on his shoulder, squeezes the object and says "Awwwwwww". Totally makes my heart melt.

In other offspring news, I had a 12 week ultrasound on Monday. Things seem to be progressing well. I'm still feeling pretty craptastic. Less nauseous than before, but little to no appetite, and when I do feel like eating I'm certainly not eating healthy. I'm down about five pounds since the beginning of the pregnancy, hopefully that trend won't continue. I'm still trying to find "the right" prenatal vitamin for me, which has been fun (insert sarcasm here).

Even with an ultrasound and seeing the actual baby on screen, I'm still apprehensive about everything. Like I feel like something is wrong. Not founded at all, but still I can't seem to shake it. In general, I'm much more on edge with this pregnancy than with Liam - lots of anxiousness, irritability, etc. That has by far been the worst thing about this whole experience. In talking to other friends who are during pregnancy #2 as well, they've said the same thing. Maybe after you've been through the process, there is actually more to worry about? I dunno. I was soooo chill with Liam in my belly. Its just so strange.

AND - my skin is so gross. I feel like a zit mania convention is taking place on my head and back. Nasty.

DOOOMMMMED - DOOOOMED I say!

*GASP* I'm going to be computerless for about two weeks. Hopefully less, but definitely at least two weeks. I've been having issues with my computer for the past six months or so (starting about six months after I bought it) and finally, after the 5th service call, they told me to send it in, even though its about two months out of warranty.

So they are sending me a box - I'm shipping it to then, and hopefully it comes back shiny and new. Hopefully.

Right now I'm backing up all my files onto my EHD and possibly CD too, and hopefully finishing up some editing and layouts that I need to get done before the box comes. It will be an interesting few days. Pat does have a computer for work, so I may be able to check my gmail account, but Facebook is blocked and because "Big Brother" is always watching, there will be very little surfage going on.

Egads.

Truth be told, I'm kind of looking forward to a technology break. I spend way too much time and energy online. The only thing I "need" to do is digital scrapbook for my creative team commitments, and edit photos, but I go way above and beyond that. I think when the computer returns I might start giving myself computer hours...you know, only using the computer between such and such time or whatever. Then maybe I'll be more judicious about what I'm doing at the computer and when I'm doing it. Right now, I'll jump on for something, get sidetracked by email or facebook and then completely forget why I got on to begin with. That is really just silly.

We'll see how she goes!!

Big pile o' crabbiness

That's what I am lately. I've got quite possibly the shortest fuse this side of the Pecos. Everything irritates me. Everything pisses me off. It's really not a fun way to live life, you know? Especially when you have a slightly sick toddler, who is kind of whiney.

Anyway, when I've got my pissy pants on it gets pretty tough for me to want to blog. It, too, makes me angry. For no particular good reason.

But, what makes me happy is to have a husband that is home from Vegas, even with money in his pocket. Not as much as when he left, but its always good to come home with some, right?

Now, we three are going to take a walk on this fabulous Sunday morning. If I can kick this headache I might even partake in a couple of open houses this afternoon. We shall see what the day brings!

Lego me Lego's

I think I've mentioned in the past I have a long storied history with Legos. In fact, I simply CANNOT wait until Liam gets old enough to have his own sets. Makes me all giddy inside. Along with that comes a slightly unhealthy obsession with Lego people. I really don't know what it is about them, but I LOVE them. Seriously. They are SO cute! Quite possibly one of the cutest things known to man. Dare I say, even cuter than puppy dogs and kittens (although, not as cuddly).

It has come to my attention that there area a ton of weirdos out there just like me, perhaps even more wacky. This has been a fun diversion over the past couple of days, because these people are easily findable on the great Flickrverse! The detail and precision that goes into photographing these little peeps is simply incredible.

I'll post a couple of my faves......

Showing a go-go

We had our first showing of 2009 tonight, I think it went pretty well. But really, you never know I suppose....I really, really REALLY want this place to sell. Really. REALLY.

I've been praying my butt off. I've never felt comfortable asking The Big Man for favors, but at this point I figure it couldn't hurt. I mean, all things in His time anyway, right? What do I have to lose. We're also burning a St. Jude candle and have a St. Joe buried...and besides, Eunice said its OK to ask for things as long as I thank him for something first :)

So, if there are any other prayers available out there - we'd love to have some our way!