t-4 hours....

Until I leave that is. I'll leave work at 2, take the bus to Mexico at 3, get to the airport *hopefully* by 5 or so....thats kind of the iffy thing right now. On Sunday there were some HUGE mud/rock slides on the main highway between here and Mexico, and I don't think they've got them quite cleaned up yet. As of yesterday, they only had one lane of traffic open each way - down from 3 each way. My plane doesn't leave until 8:30 or so, i figure taking the 3pm bus instead of the 4 should allow for some extra time. And, if I leave early, no big deal since I downloaded some podcasts of Dane Cook's Tourgasm from iTunes....I think I have a few other ones too. I was going to download a movie, but I just ran out of time.


Which reminds me - I have to print out my itinerary. I fly out on Mexicana and fly back on Aeromexico.......or is it the other way around? yeah, definitely need to print that out.


My feelings of elation are strangely subdued because of a couple things - first, I was not selected to become a part of the CT team for A Cherry On Top. I'm kinda bummed. Mostly because I wasn't even going to apply, then I get a message from a current CT member who says I should apply because I'd be great.....and I'm like, "Yeah, I would be great. They'd be nuts not to take me!" Apparently they are nuts. I'm getting over it though - i just don't like to be told (even indirectly) that I'm not good enough. Those kinds of things feed my low self esteem monster - which I am trying so desparately to tame......Actually, I feel much better about it now than I did last night. Its probably a better thing this way - less commitment :) I might even apply for the next one they have - next year probably.


The other thing that has kind of brought me down this morning is related a bit to pregnacy and such. Since Pat O'Brien and I have talked about starting our future family (don't freak out Mom - we're not trying quite yet - I know the wedding isn't until March), I've been doing lots of surfing on pregnancy and other issues. Well, not so much now, but a few months ago when we first started talking about it.


Somewhere during that process, I came across a website called THE SHAPE OF A MOTHER. Its a blog dedicated to real woman sharing thier stories on thier births, children, but more importantly how becoming a mother has changed thier bodies and thier journey of acceptance of that body. There are some AMAZING stories in there - and I think it would be a good idea for EVERY woman to read it - because I know in my case - I am often way too critical of this amazing machine that God has given me.


Anyway, I digress...A recent post was from a woman who gave birth in June, but lost her baby a few hours later. It said if I wanted to read more, to go to her blog, which I did (slow day - just killing these last four hours here). So I'm reading, and yes, its heartbreaking - but the thing that wierded me out the most is that she had the dead, partially embalmbed baby at home for a few days. Uh.......ewww! Also, apparently, placentas from the last two kids in her freezer.


I'm sure she had her reasons for doing so, and if it helped her grieve her lost baby, then well, why not...........I'm just saying I don't get it. And it kind of creeps me out. Regardless, here's a cyber prayer for all those who have lost a baby - at any stage of pregnacy. And despite that wierd strange story, I hope you still go and check the website out. It really is beautiful.


OK, change o' subject. Here's the last layout I did that I am absolutely in love with....Its just so, well, I don't know - the pic is just awesome. I'm happy to have some cool pics of my Grams!
My absolute favorite pic of my Grandma and little sister!Kit - Shannon Lee Autumn Glory; Sketch - Gina Miler September Freebie; Buttons - Jen Wilson; Font - Susie's Hand

And I'll leave you with that! My next entry will be Tuesday, at the earliest.......Until then......