Thursday, August 03, 2006


I’ve managed to be marginally warmer than yesterday - I made sure to wear long socks. They are black and white stripes (New Zealand All Blacks Socks - I save them for special occasions, like when I don't have any other socks or when I'm freezing). Although my wet hair sure isn’t helping things this morning. I woke up late – or rather I woke up on time and took a wonderfully long shower – and left for work late, but I don’t seem to be caring much today eitherway. Turned out, its OK because no one was here to see me walk in at 9AM anyway.

Today is day 3 out of 4 this week where I have had to talk myself into going to work. I had a genuine excuse on Monday with my migraine and I still went in – but today I just couldn’t get my throat to hurt quite enough to stay in bed. I really did NOT want to go to work – I mean more so than the other three days that I didn’t want to come in (Tuesday was OK because I got to do something cool in Mexico City and learn a new test the rest of the days were blah). I am very very VERY blue today (not like a Smurf but in regards to my emotions) – my cats couldn’t even make me smile this morning – even my “Cheering Up Songs” playlist on my iPod didn’t do it. I managed to sing one song, albeit half heartedly. I didn’t even really want to blog, but I figured if maybe I wrote about it, there would be some kind of therapeutic response and I would have enough energy and fortitude to want to make it through the rest of the work day. If this doesn’t work – I fear I will talk myself into going back home and hiding under the covers for the rest of the day.

Geez – I am actually frowning right now. Ick.

Not exactly sure what’s going on that’s so dramatically different from the rest of the week – I haven’t been this sad since I left, or at least it feels like it. If this last through next week I’ll have to go to the doctor to see if he can up my meds. That’s exactly what I don’t want to happen – I want to try to get off of them, not go up in dosage. Really, depression sucks.

OK, going to try to throw myself into work and forget about whatever it is that is making me so down. I hope my day improves….or at the very least I hope I stay warm.

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