I have been in THE shittiest mood today. Not sure why – not sure I care why – I just wish it would go away. I even tried to force myself happy with cuteness, but although it cracked some smiles it didn’t force me out of the funk.
OK – let’s try to dissect it together – maybe I’ll feel better for it if I get it down on “paper”.
1. One thing that’s bugging me is that I miss Pat O’Brien – terribly. I was all proud of myself with how well I handled our departure, and I haven’t really been down about it much. But it’s been a tough day in that regard – I keep on thinking about him and being sad that I’m so far away from him. And as much as my ring sparkles, it can’t wrap its arms around me, give me smootchies, make me laugh and help me feel better.
2. I can’t sleep worth beans. This may be related to the missing Pat issue – since my mind wanders to a million different places – all with him in it…..I try to take deep breaths, meditate, and clear my mind, but to be honest, I’d rather have a mind filled with him and be awake than filled with nothing. The cure for this is staying up ridiculously late, which makes me more tired in the mornings. And not wanting to get out of bed SUCKS my ass.
3. Weight issues – I’m trying so desperately to stay on the weight loss / exercise bandwagon, but I am failing miserably. I will publicly applaud my water intake efforts – I’ve gotten at least 64 oz a day this week – and I did buy a whole bunch of yummy healthy stuff yesterday at Superama (more on that later) so today I have had a relatively good eating day – but the exercise (or lack thereof) is KILLING me! I need to do it in the mornings, because I just don’t have the energy in the afternoons, but I CANNOT get out of bed in the AM. I managed to do so today so I could take a shower (yesterday I didn’t because I couldn’t get out of bed until 8:05AM and I’m supposed to leave at 8). I start a new Ultimate Challenge on Monday – so I hope by then I am well rested and on a new schedule so I can kick some ass!
4. People drive like maniacs. I’ve gotten much better at just rolling with it all and not letting it bother me, but it bothered me today. People trying to cut in front of me when they KNOW eons before hand that the lane they are in is a turn only lane. Come on man – I KNOW Taxis and Buses who run the same roads every day now this – it would be impossible NOT to. I politely looked directly at them and shook my head “no way José”. I think for the first time I seriously considered ramming someone in the back of their car. If I didn’t love my little Vibe so much, I probably would have.
5. I HAVE SO MUCH WORK TO DO – but I cannot for the life of me muster enough motivation to STOP surfing the web and START doing what’s important. This is probably irking me the most. I’m not lazy. I’m not stupid – but for some reason I just CAN’T work. Does anyone have a cure??? Being Unproductive is driving me CRAZY!!!
Ugh. Sorry for the venting ness. Not sure if I feel better, but the first step is admitting your problems, right? Er, right.
RANDOM HAPPY THINGS
I did go to Superama last night – AWESOME! I found almost everything I needed in one stop – and to top it off – they had COUSCOUS! This makes me SOOOO incredibly happy! I bought 6 boxes for fear they wouldn’t carry it after the opening. They also had PICKLES! DILL KOSHER PICKLES! This folks is a hella rarity. Also, saw my favorite shampoo & conditioner that smells so yummy and leaves my hair shiny and smooth – but I didn’t buy it because I just bought some other stuff that is way crappier, but a full bottle nonetheless and I can’t bear the thought of wasting it all.
Tigers won yesterday. Nuff said.
Did another layout with Julie Howard’s Flip Flop kit. There are various rugby peeps – but the chick is Geoff’s girlfriend Roxie. She’s just so flippin adorable and nice and fabulous. I want to have a daughter so I can name her Rosalinda and call her Roxie. It’s just so cute!
I have a happy Halloween candle in my office from the Bullfrog Candle Company. Troy’s mom got me hooked on these – they are so much prettier than regular candles when they burn. Also burning – The Body Shop Home Fragrance Oil Clementine & Clover – oh so yummy.
Check ya’ll later dude.